observations from a nobody

With summer dwindling down into the nothingness that it seems to have been and the new semester approaching, I find that my over productive mind is stalling out as of late. All this ideas of things that seem good and fun to do just end up being nothing. I thought of stuff I could do to make the site better only to drop interest and not proceed. That story I was writing, for example, has hit some roadblocks. As I was brainstorming the overall structure and plot I realized that I would have to do some big revisions just for the time scale to work. It isn’t going to be easy and probably will take a while but I hope to keep the main points intact. Not sure when the hell I expect to finish but hopefully someday I can look at it with satisfaction that I managed to create something of value.

The idea of my motivation taking a nosedive is not really a new thing considering I feel the same about school. I really have no clue what the hell I want to do. There are many classes I need to take that I just don’t want to. Mainly math and science. Both subjects aren’t a big hit for me. Science is very subjective for me. For me to enjoy it it has to be something I personally want to learn more about. Not the generic biology or chemistry stuff that we have to know. Math, on the other hand, is something I just don’t give a shit about. The big reason being I just don’t see a use for the complex shit. Now there probably is some I should care about (if not all) but I don’t. Call me biased, I don’t give a shit.

With this upcoming semester I hope it will at least put me back in gear and get me somewhat motivated to get the fuck out of school by taking those classes. I know it won’t happen overnight but I need to hurry up and get some sort of degree. I also have to figure out what I plan to work towards in terms of career path and future degrees, then I can figure out what mystical four year to go to. It’s crazy to think of how much of our lives we spend in school. It reminds me of one of my favorite lines from a System of a Down song:

Our days are never coming back

- “Highway Song”

As for other matters, I get paid tonight but can’t go out and buy books tomorrow considering I work from the morning to the evening. Going to try and get some next week on my days off. The boss is pushing max hours on me until school. When I get back to school my hours get cut big time. It is kind of a blessing and a bit of a downer. On one hand I can get lots of money via the bigger checks for books and supplies along with that speeding ticket. As for the other hand it is eating up my time but I guess I can’t complain. I’m sure I’ll be more stressed when school returns and I juggle my two lives.

This weekend has been a strange one. It felt long but went by fast. How does that work? Fuck if I know.

Friday’s ordeal lessened and my coworker is back on speaking terms with me. The situation is still a bit heated but less so than on Friday. Saturday night was long and tiring considering the night before. Tonight was slow and boring. One more day of work until the paycheck.

School tomorrow will probably be slow to start out but once I get to my film class it should go by pretty fast. I am hoping my night shots come out well. There is one on there that I really want to use for the assignment. I guess all I can do is cross my fingers.

As for the host change, I still need to work on getting my photo site back. The previous one doesn’t want to work with the new stuff so I probably will just recreate it. I also have to rebuild my dad’s part of the site. His took the worst hit via the change. Not that it really bothers me.

Lastly, serious episodes of sitcoms suck. Yes, I’m looking at you Family Matters.

This week is taking the life from me. It’s been long as hell making me tired on my days off school before work. Hopefully my body and mind get used to it because it sucks. Haven’t done much at all today aside from CNN. Yeah, that bad.

In other news, I am fucking broke. Really fucking broke. I need to stop with my impulse buying. I owe my mom about $250 but she agreed for it to be paid off over a few paychecks so I can rebuild my checking and savings. The coming holidays should help but it will take a while. Luckily I don’t go to the store much now and I am not really needing anything for now. I already got the new Magic expansion taken care of with a complete set and fat pack preordered for Shards of Alara. Sadly it doesn’t come out until October. Too long. The good news is that my planeswalkers come in Monday. Will be adding the Red and Black ones to my current main deck.

No more buying.

I have been tired as hell lately. Work has eaten up the last week or so, although I can’t really complain since it will mean a decent paycheck (and since I don’t have anymore debt I’ll be extra happy). My days have been pretty slow and boring before work. As for work I have been training for photo as of Saturday. Going pretty smooth so far. I have only made one decent sized mistake but aside from that doing ok. Just a matter of remembering how to do it. The other thing I have to get do is manage my time better. Not only am I in photo but I also have other duties that need to get done throughout my day. It probably will take me a little bit to get used to it. I start solo in photo on Monday. It’s going to a nervous day.

All I know is that I want Civilization Revolution ASAP but there is still two or so weeks until it does. The best part is I have three days off to play it when it does. That fucking rocks.

Also, Tube Tuesday is done for a little while. I don’t have time to do much ‘tube browsing to find anything.

My time off is closing up. I head back to work tonight and tomorrow before I get another day off. Not too bad. I think I can handle it.

In other news I got my debit card in the mail so I need to activate it sometime today. Although I’m still waiting for my paycheck before I start using it. Hopefully that comes soon as well.